The Ten Day Sanyas & The State of Ego

Me, Mine, I- how many times we keep reading and we keep telling ourselves that these- Me, Mine, I denote EGO अहंकार and this is one of the vices we should do away with. Religion has now turned into a big commercial activity (when it wasnt?) and with multiple channels dishing out Spirituality like 2 minute noodles.... we are now more aware of these attributes which bog us down and are impediment to the liberation of the soul blah blah..... So we dorn the sham of hypocracy...... and feign to be modest.

The two minute spiruality Maggi style sometime works and whets up an awful large apetite which requires some substantial meal and then you start looking for may be some nutritious dish which your mom used to make but then stil you want to look for a ready to heat meal which still doesnt ask you to sweat in the kitchen.

Some such moment and I realised that I have signed up for a 10 day Vipassana Course. Vipassana means looking inside in the ancient Pali language. This package was however more fussy then the MTR meal on the Hypermart shelf. To my horror I realised that this 10 day residential course involved cutting-off from the rest of the world by confining to the designated premises with no mobiles, no laptops, no emails, no facebook and no talking..... yes absolutely no talking- gesturing and eye contact included for WHOLE 10 days. Good Lord! I am a very humble being but how will my company survive for whole 10 days (6 working days infact!) and what about my family. They all need me (not the other way round!) Never has it happened in past. Ok it has happened in past but limited to 10-20 minutes when the blackberry or roaming acts funny. But here I was faced with10 full days........

Given a choice would have easily backed-off but as usual office guys ditched and wife- dependable types were stopped being made long back- I guess! Atleast office could have said that they need me on those very 10 days (7 in fact) or wifey could have become an ideal indian wife and pleaded how would she take care of MY family .... the child, the dog, the....ah well, the list finishes. But happily the guys and the woman said - enjoy! As if I was going on a Bangkok trip.

But then its my repsonsbility so left clear set of instructions everywhere that I wont be accessible but yes if emergency is there I can be brought out of the hibernation. Like all the time people took it casually...... I am the only responsible guy around.
Guess half of the Ego got deflated here itself.... Anyways, could not back-out now..... it wouldnt have looked a responsible action from such a responsible guy.

Entered the well of isolation ( please draw any comparison to the Parsi way of disposing-off their dead). Not sure whether the avarices were pecked away or not but then yesterday came back to the world. The rebirth happened by getting the Blackberry back in hand..... and that was really Nirvana.... when with the trembling fingers fed in the PIN and the screen became alive. Heart throbbing with anticipation and newly cleaned-up mind expected few hundred official emails waiting for my attention, dozens of facebook comments from friends checking where am I lost and those numerous lovey dovey sms notes from the wife how she misses me..... But alas! not a single mail required my attention...... not a single friend noticed I was absent for 10 whole days and the better-half decided to use mobile credits to talk to people who were talkable instead of wasting on sms to a non-reachable phone...... Surely something was amiss- maybe the shock was too much for my people to make them go in a denial state and not accepting that I am not around. Hope is a sign of positive mind, isnt it!

So trepidly, reached home anticpating that all dams will burst when she seems me physically in front of her. And office guys would be waiting anxiously with files in hand at 8 AM sharp. But sigh..... the whole world teamed-up to deflate whatever-remaining-ego I was left with. Door opened and with a cursory peck here and there wife related how well they managed the 10 days and even the driver-services of the unpaid driver were not missed and all the outgoings from the Pick-Brian Quiz to Paduka Pujans were all attended. Office was equally disappointing- no crisis- Boss as well as juniors managed all important jobs and kept the mundane routine ones for me.....
So here I sit an Egoless being who used to think that 11 days before that the world revolves around me! Well thats was the intent.... wasnt it! But hey... the ego was to be removed by MY conscious efforts, MY rigorous mental training but here I dint even get the opportunity to do that- everyone else teamed up to do that for me.

Sigh..... atleast this Blog will be read by many and wonderful comments will be posted; so atleast I get back some of my lost-nay, robbed Ego which then I will reove by MY genuine efforts.......

Amen!

P.S.- This is in lighter vein and the Vipassana experience on serious note will be posted soon. Keep watching....